Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The End.

     Don't be alarmed, don't be frightened; I'm not deep into depression nor will this blog post pertain to anything of that nature.  In fact, this is about the exact opposite of that.

     I've been running this blog for nearly 6 years now.  More than half a decade's worth of content poured out of the vital organ encased in my skull have been spilled out onto this blog (granted, there were long stretches of time where I would go AWOL for months....which is exactly what just happened prior to the posting of this written body of work.)  There have been some great times, some sad times and frankly some really nonsensical (seldomly regrettable) times that have been had on this blog and it is all coming to an end.

     Let me reiterate.  This blogspot is coming to an end.  Though I would like to say something that may bring a glimmer of hope to those of you who still come by to read what I have to say.  I believe that ends are never rooted in finality.

     For the better half of my entire existence as a human being on this planet I have always, through however way I manage to do it, sabotage and self-deprecate myself.  Lack of confidence in my talents and abilities, my social interactions, my appearances, etc.  It all goes on and it's a very long list if I were to continue.  All these things pretty much lead to what I said in the former sentence.  It then becomes a vicious cycle of self-loathing.  I know this for a fact now because I have rehashed the same issues over and over again throughout the years.  Whether it is a physical or mental issue, I'm not quite certain.  I however, am certain of a few things.  I am certain that I know how to go on and fix all of it.  But like all problems, as easy as the solution may seem, the steps to getting there are a lot harder to maintain.

     Hard work, discipline, perseverance and above all positivity and kindness are all the factors that I need to be happy in life and with myself.  Somehow or another though, the aforementioned things get mixed up and at times forgotten along the way and I get lost yet again.  Rinse. Repeat.  It almost doesn't make sense when I look at the kind of people that I look up to and the people that surround me but I digress. I hear this from everyone going through their young adult years, that we all get lost at one point or another and while I do believe it, I don't necessarily avoid the pains of being a sort of "wanderer" in this part of my life.  I do believe I have direction and right now I'm working to stay on that path.

     Before I go and summarize the rest of my message I would just like to say a few things about my group of friends.  My gang.  My farmboiz.  You have all been a tremendous influence in my life.  It wouldn't be the same without you all.  By that same token though, along the way, due to reasons I don't know and/or understand and it would be wrong of me to assume anything regarding the matter, I feel like I have lost touch with friends who I considered to be very close with in the past. With that said, I have also rediscovered friendships that although I have always appreciated them before, value even more than ever now.  I will never say who my most favored friend is because first of all, that person doesn't exist and second, it would be wrong.  You were all a part of my life and again, I thank you for it.  I get it, things change and hopefully all for the better. I wish you all the best of luck in life.  I hope one day, for those certain friends, things can be the same again or at least a semblance of what we once were.
 
     So after I spilled all that, let me get to brass tacks.

     In a manner of days I will be turning 25 years old.  I am riding a wave of positivity starting from my vacation in Europe with my family whom I found a new appreciation for during the trip.  I've met with relatives and friends that I've either haven't seen in a long time or I have never met.  I experienced things that will forever change my perception on life, on my life. I do hope that this wave lasts a long time and I will do everything in my power to maintain it.  I've been working out and eating right and starting up again on my quest to get in shape for physical health and appearances.  I am feeling powerfully creative and yearning to finally do something my whole life and create a game with people and friends that I trust.

     As of late, I have also been yearning for my better half; someone to share experiences with; someone who I can care more about than myself.  And with that stated, I am currently extremely swooning over a beautiful, witty and funny girl, whose name I will not mention, at least not yet.  Whether or not that leads to anything meaningful, only time will tell.  I'm focusing on the present.  I will tell you this much, I am not going to give up easily at all.

     The present is always what is currently happening and I need to and I am going to make every second count.

     For now, I bid farewell to this blog.  She's been good to me and maybe, just maybe, I'll see her again.  And if the day comes that I feel like I'm ready to return, maybe I'll see you guys again as well.

Goodbye.

-Alan

Monday, April 14, 2014

Late April Calender Pic post. (Choose to see the good in all things.) +BABYMETAL

To pay homage to a good friend of mine who also blogs (I wonder who?).  How are y'all babies?

Obligatory calendar picture with inspirational quote:



Also, welcome my new obsession: Babymetal.  I was first exposed to this band via one of my favorite YouTube shows, "YouTubers React" in the episode, aptly named, "YouTubers React to Babymetal"  Watch it here, it is funny.  At first my reaction was similar to theirs which went something along the lines of "wtf".  But then I dug deeper into the whole Babymetal situation and sure enough, through listening to their songs, learning about their members and the whole Japanese system with the pop-idol group Sakura Gakuin, I became a full fledged Babymetal fan.  Their mix of music catered to two things that have always been a part of me even if they're not so prominent anymore in my current life: Japanese culture (music, anime, games, the whole nine yards) and heavy metal music.  I just fell in love with their songs, their bangin' live performances, their panache and just the whole strange, yet awesome package.

 Put your fucking kitsune up! (Quote borrow from r/BABYMETAL)

There's too many awesome tracks and live performances so here's just one of their awesome tracks (Megitsune) and live performances:


If you enjoyed that, I encourage you to check out more of their stuff.  They are incredible.

On a related side-note, I teared up watching this video.  It's so innocent and just the raw emotions running through stemming from the bonds of friendship and sisterhood between these girls.  It was heartwarming to say the least.


A bit of context though because you probably won't get it unless you understand the situation.  Sakura Gakuin puts together a group of young talented girls, the word young being the keyword here.  Suzuka Nakamoto (SU-METAL in Babymetal) graduated from Jr.High in the Japanese school system and hence has also "graduated" from the pop-idol group Sakura Gakuin (Putting it bluntly, she's too old). She is sticking around with Babymetal though despite Babymetal being a subgroup under Sakura Gakuin, thank goodness. With her departure, her younger peers were compelled to make something for their leader and role model and the rest that follows is just pure vanilla.  It's too much.  NOTE: The 2 younger members of Babymetal are also in the video (YUI-METAL and MOAMETAL, with Moa in particular being very emotional :*) )

Anyways, that was a much longer post than usual.  Thanks for reading.  Life is good.

Alan

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Cloud with his annual shave.

Every time I see this alpha dawg get his annual shave and groom he looks like a diff dog.



Wednesday, March 26, 2014

It's never too late.

http://digitalsynopsis.com/inspiration/never-too-late-start-venture/

Monday, March 3, 2014

never just go with the flow Always desire to be more the world is already FULL of ordinary



March 1 was a few days ago but what the hell.  How's everybody doing?

Alan

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Finally, a sunny day.


 Being cute.

  
Eating ice from my sister's hand.
 
The snow is starting to melt.

-Alan

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Damn you SNOW!!!! (2014)

Looks like another day of hard shoveling.